Monday, December 29, 2008

College Girls Beware


So often I concentrate my abstinence efforts on the jr high and high school students. Today I came across a pamplet that has set me straight. I guess there are obvious reasons I have not focused on the co-eds. Firstly, I have never been invited to talk to them. Secondly and sadly I am probably too late. But as I have said in every talk I have ever given, if you have already engaged in the horizontal mambo, it is not too late to sit out the next dance. All you need to do, is get tested and start dating the risk free way!

This pamplet, http://www.cblpi.org/senseandsexuality/index.cfm, is very effective and an easy read. If you know any young cute college girls please share the link. I constantly say, know the facts and then decide if sex is worth the countless risks. But once you have listened to me, you will NEVER have the excuse I didn't know. My objective is to take that excuse out of every non married person living in America. (Don't worry, once I finish here I plan to go international.)

My 6 year old is sitting in the office with me reading a Junie B. Jones book. I look at her and hope that she will not rebel on me one day. I do this for both of my girls. I am trying to change the society in which they are growing. How often have I heard to loosen up times have changed? Times may have changed, but the consequences have only gotten increasingly scary. As of right now, her chances of meeting a nice boy without an STD is about 1 and 5. I am not going to stand by and let this continue happening without putting up a fight! It is not time to be complacent so please share my blog and website with others and in the meantime maybe I can help you or your child.
Sorry that this is not a particularly long or entertaining blog, but I want you to take the time to click the above link and read the pamplet online. I coudn't have said it better myself!

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Monday, December 22, 2008

To my Friends

Back in August, in fact the very day Hurricane Gustav hit, I got a facebook account. This was done with much pressure from my friend, Christy. I just thought it would be ridiculous, but she insisted it would get my blog more attention. (Ah my Achilles heel!) Well she was right. My blog has picked up more readers and I have picked up more speaking engagements. But there was a side to facebook I was unprepared for....my friends.


At first, it was my college friends. Going to college out of state and eventually moving back home, you are not in constant contact with those whom you graduated. Almost immediately I began to hear from people I have not seen since May of 1994. What a treat! Recently I have begun to hear from some of my old high school buddies, some as far away as Washington. (Shout out Kristy and Brian) If it were not for facebook I would not have been taking this stroll along memory lane. One thing is very evident to me, these people from my past were truly a gift from God.


We have discussed often, my decision to remain abstinent until marriage. I have mentioned that my reasons constantly changed as I constantly changed. But one thing I have been adamant about is in the beginning my reasons were NOT to please the higher power, my reason were being afraid of a higher power, i.e. mom and dad. Christ did not play a role in my decision until I was out of college, or so I thought.


As I reminisce about the days of old, I realize what blessing I had in my friends. I had quite an eclectic group at that. In my first days at SJA, I quickly needed to find a place to belong. There was a large contingent from STM that took me in and made me feel like one of them. I was a member of the chorus and made a group of friends there, and I was in every drama production starting my sophomore year, where I made even more dear friends. Some were upperclassman, some were in my class, and some were a year behind me. So what did all of these people have in common? They all accepted me, just as I was. I was never pushed to be anyone other than myself. What a gift!


Today our students feel tremendous pressure to fit in. They are encouraged to engage in dangerous behaviors that they are not ready for: drugs, alcohol and even sex. All of these actions come with serious consequences that can have life long effects. For those of you, being pressured now, if this is something that makes you feel uncomfortable then it is not for you. Be the best you, you can be, and walk away from those that are not your true friends. A true friend will not ask you to do something you don't want to do.


And to those of you, who have been my friend along the way, THANK YOU! Thank you for letting me be me, and not only accepting it, but embracing it. I am so much better for having each of you in my life.


One more thing...I went to a Christmas party last night and a friend of mine said he wants a shout out on my blog, so here you go...to my friend, Todd thanks for being a friend!

Monday, December 8, 2008

Where does their childhood go?

First let me offer my sincere apologies. I have not been blogging regularly, but hang in there I have two really good excuses. First, does it matter that I have been fighting Bronchitis since the last week of October? Secondly, I too am susceptible to writers/blogger's block. If this was a blog about politics I would NEVER run out of something to say. If this was a blog about how your favorite football team has a fall from grace I would NEVER run out of something to say. Therefore I have strict rules about this blog and sticking to my abstinence agenda, I just worry sometimes that I am repeating myself. Never fear inspiration is here!
Over the holiday, I had the opportunity to attend my daughter, Natalie's Thanksgiving feast. Here I watched a room of beautiful 3 and 4 year olds sing songs of Thanksgiving and its many traditions. I thought to myself, " Where does it go? How are they innocent today and much too grown up in just a few short years? How does this happen?" My first thought was trying target the age that this seems to happen. Since I live with a 3 year old and a 6 year old I can safely say that it has not gone yet. But I will reiterate that I watch what they are subjected to. I have mentioned before that the tv stays on Noggin or movies that I approve of. (No, I am not a prude who doesn't watch trashy tv, it is just all the shows that I find a guilty pleasure in like: Desperate Housewives and Grey's ANatomy I record on my DVR and watch after they are in bed)
So innocent at 6--check! SO where is it? I am pretty sure it starts slipping away before 6th grade so what happens between 1st and 6th that rips the childhood right from under their feet?
I have determined there are outside factors involved: TV, movies, music and let's not forget their peers. How do we as parents stop this train? First of all we need to stay involved. What are they watching? Are you aware that Sex in the City( again, not judging) is on at 5pm on Sats? Are you blocking this show with parental controls? Have you picked up their ipod to hear what they are listening too? What about the movie they are going to see? Do you know what it is rated, or the content? And probably most importantly, who are their friends, who are their Friend's parents? Do they share your beliefs and values?
No one said raising these kids was going to be easy. I don't know about you, but I want my kids to have what I had. A childhood of riding bikes around the neighborhood with my best friend. (shout out Laura) A high school career of innocent crushes and making of life long friends. A college career of fun and more great friends, oh and a first love. All of this allowed me to grow at a slow rate and take in life experiences along the way. I was not facing adult consequences from adult decisions in my teens. And now I have a wonderful healthy relationship with my husband as a grown-up. I didn't rush my youth or my innocence and now we get to have a blast growing together.
Our kids don't know to be angry at the ripping away of their childhood. It is up to us to be angry for all of them and to fight like hell for them to keep their innocence and youth. By waging this war and winning it we may not change society. But we sure can protect what is coming in and out of our immediate environment and maybe, just maybe win the war in our own house!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Shout Out!

Today's blog is a shout out / tribute to my parents. You didn't think I became this remarkable person all by myself did you? When people hear that I have a vision of my girls remaining abstinent until marriage they often applaud my goal, but worry on my strategy. For example, this is a comment made about my lofty ambitions, "My position is that you can't keep a kid in lock down, or you'll lose them, and I've seen it happen many times. It's a tricky area, this parenting in the 21st century. If Jennifer is raising her daughter to abstain from sex until marriage, that's a very personal choice. It's commendable to wish to protect her, and she may feel so obligated in that responsibility that she feels she must indoctrinate a policy in her house, but ultimately the choice will be her daughter's, and I hope her daughter feels she can speak her own mind about it when the time comes."
It is a very common misconception that I will have to "home school" my children for them to remain abstinent until marriage. What kind of lock down, crazy institution does this man think I will raise my kids in? The truth is, I plan to follow the lead set by my parents. I have carefully thought over how they instilled a set of values in me, while all along making me think it was my own idea. These two people are very crafty individuals. I give them all the credit because I am not the only remarkable person to benefit from their love and guidance. Nope, there are two more brilliant, capable siblings running around out there with the same goals and values as mine. I have two wonderful brothers who feel the same about abstinence as I do. So how could this have happened. What kind of indoctrinating went on in our household?
Believe it or not, I don't remember them ever really drilling us on sex outside of marriage. That being said, how is it possible that all 3 of their children came out with the same outlook? This is what they taught me and this is what has stuck, and this is one of the big reasons I think I waited until marriage. Are you ready? I was told to not to rush into growing up and to wait for my time to do whatever it was that I wanted to do. I was told this over and over again for bevy of different subjects. For example I had to wait until High School to wear make-up, I had to wait until I was 12 to have my ears pierced, I had to wait to date until High School.
There was something to be said getting to an age and being rewarded with all that can come with it. It was a feeling of accomplishment or self worth that came with waiting for my time. I didn't get keys to the car and a license the day I turned 16. My dad went with me to get my license and a notebook. He kept the notebook in the glove compartment to log how many miles I drove. The rule in our house was to drive solo you had to drive 500 miles with a parent in the car. And not just any 500 miles, no, they were allocated to so many at night, so many on the interstate and so many in the rain. (thank God we did not have a drought that year). I will never forget my first solo trip after completing my 500 miles I drove all the way out to Sherwood Forest to see my friend Christy. (man we have been friends a long time) There was no timidness in my driving, I was a confident, defensive driver, knock on wood I still have never been in the tiniest fender bender! Think of the esteem my parents had built up in me, and think of the confidence it gave them to know that they could trust me.
I do remember times my mom and I seeing a wedding dress or a wedding and probably sharing the same dream. But my mom would say that it is a privilege to wear that white gown one that needed to be earned. As corny as it sounds I really wanted to earn the right to wear a beautiful sparkling white wedding dress. I waited my turn and boy was I rewarded. I remember the day mom and I drove to New Orleans to try on dresses, it was the second one we tried on, it was made for me. And now when my daughters see my wedding portrait, they talk about the day I got to be a princess. I tell them they too can have a day like that, but they must wait their turn and earn the privilege to wear the white gown.
So when people ask me how I think I will manage two girls saving themselves for marriage, I hear the skepticism in their voices, and their fear of how I will indoctrinate my policy in them, know that all I am teaching them is to wait. Wait to grow up, wait your turn, and earn every blessing you receive in life. Surely that doesn't sound too crazy or too far out.
As for my parents, thank you! I am sure there were times you thought you were beating your head against the wall. Evidently your message got through and not just once look at my 2 amazing brothers! Well done!
Oh and one last thing, today is Veterans Day, and while he never talks about his time in the service my dad proudly served his country. So to my dad and all men who have so valiantly served our country, thank you and God Bless you.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Back to condoms

First to my regular readers let me apologize for my absence. For the last two weeks I have been battling bronchitis. My wonderful husband helped pick up my slack around the house, but as for blogging about abstinence he drew the line. So thanks to my perfect husband and thanks to you for your patience.
While there are a bevy of topics I would like to address, I got sidetracked just now while reading a news report online. It appears all of the work President Bush did supporting my abstinence cause will be abandoned by the new administration. It seems President elect Obama thinks the nation needs to focus on a more scientific approach to the spreading of STDs by using condoms than the ideological approach of the Bush administration on abstinence.
I am a little confounded that one approach is MORE scientific than the other. As far as I know, that when abstinence is used it is 100% effective, however condoms are only 97% effective. Math not being my strong suit even I know that 100 is better than 97; I'm just saying. So where does the science come in? Apparently in human error. You see President elect Obama does not feel that we are responsible enough to say NO to sex. So he thinks we should take away that sticky subject of personal accountability and just make it easier for everyone. If you have the urge to have sex, go ahead and don't worry about the consequences, just be sure to have a condom!
I found this information on the Center for Disease Control Website and thought it would help prove my point.

The surest way to avoid transmission of sexually transmitted diseases is to
abstain from sexual intercourse, or to be in a long-term mutually monogamous
relationship with a partner who has been tested and you know is uninfected.
For persons whose sexual behaviors place them at risk for STDs, correct and
consistent use of the male latex condom can reduce the risk of STD transmission.
However, no protective method is 100 percent effective, and condom use cannot
guarantee absolute protection against any STD. Furthermore, condoms lubricated
with spermicides are no more effective than other lubricated condoms in
protecting against the transmission of HIV and other STDs. In order to achieve the
protective effect of condoms, they must be used correctly and consistently.


Yes, it appears that condoms do greatly reduce the risk of HIV, but haven't we already discussed that there are more consequences to sex outside of marriage than just the physical? The emotional damage created by someone choosing to have sex when they are not mentally mature enough can be life altering. You don't have to believe me when I say this, but I have seen this damage with my own eyes. It was one of the reasons I waited until I was married. I never wanted to give anyone control over my life that would change its direction forever...for the worse.
I will agree with President elect Obama, abstinence is hard and fails when we are not held responsible for our actions. But handing condoms out in Africa without educating the people on the truths about sex ,the disease and deaths will continue to climb. They will only use condoms if they are available and if they do not have condoms they will continue to have unsafe sex. Do you know that it is believed in parts of Africa that if you have sex with a virgin then you will be cured of Aids? Do you know how many infants have been raped for the cure? Obama's solution is more condoms. The Bush administration has spent more money than any other administration in Africa on educating and treating the people infected with HIV and AIDS. Explaining to these individuals that "no, sex with a virgin will not cure you".
As for here in the United States, I guess we will have to wait for the lessons on accountability. The lesson we hear now is, "if it feels good do it, and worry about the consequences later". And lucky for you President Obama with the FOCA will help make abortions more readily available to you. After all he said himself, "He doesn't want his girls to have to be punished if they make a mistake". I wonder who will pay the bills for the emotional distress derived from the abortion? Forgive me if I am not inspired. I will continue to teach my daughters about personal accountability and consequences for their actions, and I am pretty sure I will have two remarkable, self-reliant, beautiful girls who will help to save the next generation.

Monday, October 27, 2008

bad ideas

You know sometimes you hear something and you think that is such a bad idea, there is no way anyone will buy into it, like wealth redistribution. But the next thing you know, not only does someone agree with this absurd idea but they begin to embrace it. Now don't get worried I am not blogging about the impending socialist revolution I am actually talking about sex bracelets.

Truly what a stupid idea; and yet not only has it been embraced but people are actually wearing them. If you are new to this phenomenon let me catch you up. You will be quick to recognize these jelly bracelets they were a fad in the 80's, first sported by Madonna and Cyndi Lauper. Today a person wears the bracelet and depending on the color another person snaps off the color of their choosing. The color bracelet correlates to a sexual favor which the snappee must now grant the snapper. The color chart as best as I know is the following : Yellow means hug, pink means give a hickey, orange means kiss, purple means you are willing to kiss either sex, red means perform a lap dance, green means oral sex performed on a girl, clear means anything goes, blue is oral sex performed on a guy, and black means missionary sex. There are glittery bracelets which hold more sexual favors, but I think you get the point.

I am stupefied why anyone would choose to take part in this really bad idea. What do you think others think of the bearer of the bracelet. Do you think kids today even care? Are parents buying these for their kids? Are kids using their allowance money to buy them? The whole idea of this "game" makes my head spin. I was talking to a "friend" who is in Jr high. She was telling me about people who are wearing these that she knows personally. I casually started asking questions. Are they advertising their services or using the bracelets to brag about their conquests. I got a lot of shrugging in return.

By allowing ANYONE to walk up and snap a colored bracelet off your wrist, you are giving control of YOUR body to someone else's whims. Understandably if you are wearing the bracelet maybe you are up for anything. But does that include the random stranger at the gas station you are advertising your sexual freedom to? These bracelets speak volumes about your character and if you wear this bracelet you are saying that you should be treated as an object and not a person. You are there, available to fulfill someones passing need. But what are you getting in return? This game is certainly not going to fill a void in your life, if anything it will create a bigger hole that you have no idea how to fill. This unhealthy game will lead to big problems, and I am not just talking about STDs.

Sex is a very intimate act meant to bond a husband and wife. Outside the parameters of marriage in particular, inside the boundaries of this insidious game you devalue the meaning of sex and equally so the value of your character. Sex is not a game and neither is your life, so stop treating it like one.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Time to get on my soap box

Friends I am careful to use this blog for the intended purpose of spreading the news of abstinence until marriage. So far I have been careful not to use it to spread my political views (and I have a LOT to say), nor have I used it in talking about my religious beliefs. So tonight I am going to get on my soap box, because there is an issue that I can no longer ignore. It would be negligent of me to not discuss the FOCA.

The Freedom of Choice Act while harmless in title will have devastating consequences if passed. I will touch on some of the "highlights" of this disgusting bill and then follow up with some of my personal thoughts. FOCA states:

-abortion is a fundamental right and no agency or person should be able to interfere with a

woman's right to choose to have an abortion.

-taxpayer money would be used to perform abortions (so the gov't has no say so if you can

have an abortion but then are also expected to pay for it?)

-allow partial birth and late term abortions

-allow abortions by non-physicians and non-regulated clinics (allowing abortions that may put

a woman's health at risk)

-minors will not be required to notify their parents



For over 35 years we have been taking baby steps to overcome the decision of Roe v Wade. And while we have made great strides we still have far to go. Since Roe v Wade there have been
48,589,993 abortions. We have lost beautiful people in the military. Since the Iraq War began in March of 03 we have lost 4,186 soldiers. Who died with honor and a belief in their cause, of liberating a nation and spreading democracy throughout the world. Over these men and women of valor there has been total outrage. May I ask where is the outrage over the 48 million innocent lives that were MURDERED so that a woman would not be INCONVENIENCED by her CHOICE to have sex? 48 Million can you even begin to comprehend how totally wrecked God must be, when He sanctions all life? FOCA will not lower the number of abortions in America it will increase the number and without regulations a woman's health is at a greater risk.



Let me tell you ladies, I am all about your freedom of choice. You may choose to have sex or you may choose to not have sex. If you choose to have sex then you better be ready to put on your big girl pants and deal with the adult consequences. There are options available to you, adoption and keeping this precious gift from God. Murder is not an option. So stop calling your self pro-choice and go ahead and call it pro-murder.



This week I have received an amazing blessing. I have my first godchild. A beautiful (and I am not biased) little girl. Her mommy and daddy had to wait a long time for her. And lucky for them, my goddaughter's birth mom decided to do the selfless act and give her baby to a loving family. My friends are in good company waiting for others to follow suit and choose life, choose love over selfishness.



So now what? Get busy. Call your congressman, call everybody in Washington DC and let them know that we are not okay with FOCA. We need to do God's work down here. We cannot sit and watch this bill pass and do nothing. You must inform others of this evil legislation before it is too late. And while I try not to express my political views on this blog I must point out that one candidate supports this disgusting legislation and one does not. Okay I will put my soap box
away....for now.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Where do I begin?

Tonight I truly do not know where to begin, I have so many issues to address. Now I need to narrow it down to just one, so which one will it be? Tonight I think I would like to talk about character. The old saying that opposites attract is true. However attraction is half the game character is the entire game. I meet people who want to stay pure until they are married. Their number one concern is finding someone whose values mirror their own. I know when I was dating and really wanting to get married that I had resigned myself to "settling". It would be impossible to find someone who thought of "sex" as old fashioned as I did. I have no complaints, in fact I was quite lucky. No one I ever dated thought sex was a deal breaker. And to my knowledge no one ever dumped me because of it. But I do remember wondering if what I was looking for really existed. And on the second date with my husband I found out it did.

Back to my first thought about opposites attracting. Who knows why people have chemistry together, but if all you have in common is chemistry that will not sustain a relationship. And that is why I talk of character. Maybe none of my boyfriends pushed me, because we had our character in common. Sure there were boys I met that had MAJOR chemistry, but after a few dates when you know that is all you have, you know that it is not going any where good. AHHH memories. And what I remember is that the ones I shared just chemistry with had none of the character traits I was looking for.

I don't mean to focus just on the struggles of the female looking for a suitable male. I know all about the girls that do not share any of my character traits. These are the girls sending naked pictures of themselves to boys via the Internet and cell phone. Guys I know it is hard, no pun intended, to turn away from these vixens, but I promise if what you want in the long run is a girl to live happily ever after with, she is not the one. Really can you bring one of these girls home to meet your mama and look your parents in the face with pride? And what about this scenario...are you the first boy she ever sent a picture or suggestion to? Better yet, let us not forget that 1 in 4 girls that are sexually active have an STD. DO you want the mother of your children to be the one that gave you herpes?

You will note that I am not trying to change the mind of these pushy girls. I wonder if they just don't have the foresight to see that this fast living comes with life long consequences. And for many a very sad life full of very bad, disappointing, unfulfilled relationships. These are the girls that at 23 look like they are already 35. Fast, hard, living has a way of aging you and it is like a billboard about your character. If you haven't yet traveled down this road just fast forward to where you see yourself in 10, 15, 20 years do you see a happily ever after? Is that what you want? What you are hoping to find in a life mate be sure you are exhibiting those same traits today. Your character is not something you can change when you are ready to grow up, your character is what becomes of you as you grow up.

Monday, October 13, 2008

This is for you, Scott at the nervous nation!

As I mentioned in Saturday's blog, lately I have encountered people who think I am wasting my time. One was our new friend, Scott who left a comment on my blog about Gardasil, the other was a private email I received. I plan to address both of these, but today I will just answer the questions raised by Scott.


The first thing I noticed Scott say was that abstinence would prevent "some" HPV disease. Ah, no, that would be ALL HPV. Now this is assuming that by abstinence I am not just talking about the actual act of intercourse. Yes, everyone, you can get an STD by your genitalia rubbing up against your partners. SO no contact sports can be played until Marriage.


Scott's next argument is that, "abstinence is not tenable because it is not the norm". Does that mean we don't strive to change ANYTHING? Someone alert the media and their darling Barack Obama. I do believe people can change. I have met people who have heard me talk about the risks that have decided to change. It is as if every voice out there: in music, movies, all media outlets are all saying it is okay to have sex like it is our right. But with sex, comes a duty to be responsible and to educate people and to tell them it is okay not to have sex. There are so few voices representing the alternative, that is why I do this. I wonder you mentioned the 50% divorce rate, do you know the rate of divorce when people wait to have sex until they are married? Don't worry neither do I. Wouldn't it be an interesting subject? I can say from personal experience that having waited until I was married, I love my husband more today than the day I married him. And I never worry the next morning if he will call me, or if I was good enough. There is something about getting to have sex and having NO worries about it! And incidentally, I feel the same about sex outside of marriage if you are a divorcee too. The risks for STD and other consequences don't disappear just because you are no longer in your twenties.


Finally, Scott, you corrected me, Gardasil does protect you from 4 of the 100 strains of HPV, not just two. But it does not change the percentage. You are still risking getting HPV at 30%; a number I am still not comfortable with. And yes, it will protect you 90% of the time from genital warts Yea Gardasil!!!!!!!!!!

To my readers, I want you to know that I liked Scott raising questions. Anytime I am asked to defend my stance on something it often reiterates and energizes me and my initiative. And sometimes it allows me to get a little bit more detailed in my argument. SO don't ever hesitate in playing my devil's advocate. I accept it and anticipate the challenge.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

I'm back

After a great trip to Disney with the family, I am back! And this time with even more gumption than before. I know you can't imagine me having more, but it is true. Before I left for vacation I submitted a blog on Gardasil; it really seemed to ignite some controversy and even some not too happy comments. Several incidents occurred around this same time, and all had the same message...give up you are fighting a losing battle. I kept saying to myself, "I am not going to let these people talk me out of my mission". But truth be told maybe there was a slight weakening in my fight. And then I went to Disney World and these doubts were making rumblings in the back of my head. I really was contemplating how to move forward and did I want to?

On day 3 of our trip, we found ourselves in Epcot. You may not know that Disney shut down Spaceship Earth last year to update it. So there I was in Spaceship Earth riding along with my six year old daughter when a voice on the speaker came on and said, "What does your future look like? Can you see it? You can make it look like whatever you want as long as you have a vision". And I thought to myself, this is too hokey even for me; I looked around to see if there were going to be any singing mice chanting you can do it, Jennifer! (There weren't) But man I found my fight again.

Yes, it is against the norm today to wait until marriage to have sex, so does that mean I must settle? How about I just sit my 2 little girls down today and tell them the good news about Gardasil, birth control, and condoms and tell them you can have all the sex you want because everyone else is doing it. Forgive me, but that is not the future I see for this household. And for all of you negative nellys who want to try to dissuade me you will have to work a lot harder; either way YOU are going to LOSE! You will not make me give up. I can see a better future, but it is going to take educating the masses. Again this is just one blog, but if you believe in it then you can help me. Spread the word, we can change and I am not talking about the "Obama change". I am talking real, honest to God change that can change the world. One person at a time, who is with me?

Friday, October 3, 2008

Disney world here we come

Sorry for the lack of blog lately it is not for a lack of anything to say. The family and I are off to Disney World and we will be returning at the end of the week. Upon my return you have my word that I will be blogging with a great deal more regularity. I hope you will tune in and keep reading.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Gardasil: It is not all it is cracked up to be

Yesterday while folding laundry a commercial for Gardasil came on and has really lit a fire in me. This sweet looking teen says, because she wants to be one less facing cervical cancer she is going to get the Gardasil vaccine. Here I am taking deep, deep breaths before I continue...I will not rant, I will not babble.

First of all if we are really worried about cervical cancer how about we just don't have sex outside of marriage. 99% of cervical cancer cases comes from sexual intercourse. Now you may say, but I am only sleeping with my girlfriend or boyfriend. Well that may be, but who have they slept with before you? Remember you are never sleeping with just one person you are sleeping with everyone they have slept with. Having sex with one or multiple partners makes you susceptible to HPV. HPV is the leading cause of cervical cancer as I said earlier, 99% of the cases! But wait the heavens have opened, the angels are singing and there is Gardasil.

I can't tell you how many times I have given the abstinence talk and the girls are always quick to point out that STDS are not as bad as I make them out to be, because they have the Gardasil vaccine. Oh I did not realize it protected you from broken hearts, emotional scarring pregnancy, and herpes ...wow what a drug! So what does it do? Well for starters it protects you from 2 types of HPV. There are over 100 strains. You know each year when you get the flu shot and you hope you are getting the right one? Or how many times have you gotten the flu shot or known someone who did but they or you still get the flu? Gardasil claims it can protect you from 70% of the cases; are you willing to risk your life for the other 30%. I am really not a gambler, but 30% seems awfully high to me.

In an article dated June of 2008 http://www.worldnetdaily.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=68454 I read of the death toll associated with the Gardasil vaccine. Sure 20 deaths and 140 serious complications seems low when you think of how many vaccines have been administered, but 1 death would be too many for me when it comes to giving this to my daughter. What about the side effects? Seizures, blood clots, Bells Palsy and Gullain-Barre Syndrome. Why would I put my daughter at risk for these side effects, when the same if not better results come from good old boring abstinence?

I am sick of hearing that abstinence does not work. That's funny I know for a fact that you will not get pregnant if you are living a life of abstinence. And the odds of you getting cervical cancer are less than one percent. So the next time you see a Gardasil commercial and the cute teenager says she is going to be one less, think of me yelling at my TV, "Sure you can be one less, STOP having sex!"

Thursday, September 18, 2008

I hear wedding bells

My six year old, Caroline, has informed me that she has a boyfriend that she intends to marry. Which is not for another 20 years, as she understands the rules of our house. Last night as I was tucking her into bed she looked around her room and decided that the young man would probably like her room when they are married, after all she herself selected the "bath blue" color. She was worried that the room may still be a little too "girly" for him. I took a deep breath and explained that when she is 30 and married it is okay with me for her to get her own house. She thought this was a good idea, although she had slight concerns about our puppy and who would get to keep her. (no, I did not even go there with her)
I did ask her if the young man in question was aware he was her boyfriend. She looked at me and said, "of course not, if he knew then he probably would not be my boyfriend!" How I wish she could stay this innocent forever.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Lucky number 13!

Well it has been 13 days since hurricane Gustave hit Louisiana and today I got my power back! I am overjoyed. I run from room to room turning on lights because I can! We bought a generator the day before the storm (thank God!), we named her Charlene. I don't think we could have survived without Charlene. Without any TV and only local radio talking about where we could get supplies and when we should have power, I was not able to keep up with much national news. However I did get to see Gov. Palin talk at the Republican National Convention. WOW what a person to look up to! When we heard the news that her daughter, Bristol was pregnant my husband asked me what I thought.
I thought how sad that at 17 she has to go through such an adult situation. With the additional complication of having her mother, run for the second highest office in the country. As if her initial humiliation was not enough, now to have the entire country in her business yikes! But here is the part I love. I loved Sarah Palin's response. That she was saddened that her daughter is going to have to rush into adulthood, but that what her daughter needed at this time is her unconditional support and love.
I think when my husband asked me my opinion he was waiting for me to judge her. I thought it is not for me to judge. I didn't stop friendships along the way, because a friend was sexually active. Those are personal choices that people make. My goal is to be there for the younger generation hopefully before they make the difficult choice of having sex, and if I arrive there too late to guide them, then I can help them decide to go back to my way. Get tested for every STD in the book and start living a life with fewer regrets.
Maybe it may seem a little hypocritical of me...I remember one of my first blogs about Jamie Lynn Spears and her baby. I was awfully harsh. But in a society where girls and boys for that matter are pushed to think that sex is no big deal with little consequences I found it predictable that Jamie Lynn would find herself in that position. She is in an industry where "child stars" are unfortunately pushed to grow up too fast. It seems everyone is parenting them except their own parents. In this situation, I feel like Bristol Palin reflects much of what is happening in our "average teenager's" life. Falling in love and having sex well before we are ready, simply because we are not aware of the consequences or that the consequences will never happen to them. All I know is that I if I am ever confronted with this situation I too can remember to show my daughters my unconditional love and support as I would for anyone else.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

OHHH Gustav!!!!!!!!!!

Well Gustav has not been kind to Louisiana. Thanks to our good friends, the Thomas' we have escaped to Houston. We don't have power at home and our neighborhood looks like a war zone. We are hearing it could take up to 4 weeks to have power restored! (yuck). I will start blogging regularly as soon as I am able. Until then pray for all of those who have to rebuild after the storm, and Pray that IKE stays out of the Gulf of Mexico!

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Preparing for Gustav

Well the Tigers played on Saturday and they won convincingly; however there was little time to celebrate. We have been watching Gustav for days anxiously awaiting news of where it will land. On Thursday I took the imitative to buy water and batteries. On Friday, I bought dry goods and items I can cook on our gas stove top. Each day I get a little bit more and little bit more anticipating when and where this thing will land. Today is Sunday for sure we "think" Gustav will strike sometime tomorrow morning, but we are more than likely going to start getting it's outer rain bands tonight. My girls have bedrooms upstairs and we are downstairs, so tonight we will let them "camp out" in the living room. (This is a very big deal for my two angels). Additionally we bought a generator today. We have never had one before, but I think it will change how we handle the storm. We will be able to keep our refrigerator and TV running. Unfortunately it will not keep the AC going, but we have survived that before. So what does all of this have to do with living a life of abstinence until marriage.

Like in a hurricane you must be prepared ahead of time, so must you be prepared when deciding to remain abstinent until marriage. It has been a process of 4 days getting our family hurricane ready. You must constantly access and commit to living an abstinent life. First you must figure out WHY you are not going to have sex. The reasons are different for all of us. Recently a friend that often talks to me about the struggles of a "sex free life in college" blurted out to me, "Jennifer, I am not having sex, but it is not for the reasons you would want me to have". I quickly explained that I don't care what her reasons are as long as it is keeping her out of mischief. She said, "that it is just too risky, with the pregnancy and rampant STD epidemics that it is just not worth it". She went on to say that she wants to have sex, but that the consequences are too high for her to "do it". The idea is you need to decide why you won't have sex. And this is not a constant variable, this is something that will change as you change. My reasons for not having sex at 16 were vastly different from my reasons at 26, but I constantly thought about my stance on sex, reevaluated were I was and reaffirmed my position.

You cannot wait until the back seat of some one's car to decide what your opinion on sex outside of marriage is. Once you are in the throws of making out, the decision will be made for you, and the inevitable regret will follow. Just like tomorrow at 9am when Gustav hits land I can't decide to go get my supplies it will be too late, so goes for making the decision about sex in your boyfriend/girlfriend's basement. Decide now what you will and will not do and decide WHY. It can't be someone else's values or reasons it is what matters to YOU. WHY are YOU going to wait? Prepare! Prepare! Prepare! Before your life becomes like that of a hurricane! Total, uncontrolled chaos!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

The most wonderful season of all...

I can't believe it is here! My favorite season has finally arrived! No, not fall (it's Louisiana we don't have a fall). It's time for football. Only 3 more days and my heart will start pounding, my hands will get clammy, I will hardly be able to catch my breath as the LSU Golden Band from Tiger Land will take the field for pre-game. I regret that I am a petite girl that never got to play the bone crushing, thrilling game of football. And now I am relieved that I have two beautiful daughters that will never play the bone crushing, thrilling game of football. So how in the world do I talk about my favorite sport and tie it in to living a life without regret? Hang with me I think I can make it work.
The title of my blog and website, living with no regrets, while centered on the idea of abstinence can really work in every aspect of your life. Take for example your studies. Let's say you have a big test coming up. You can choose to study and make an A or you can slack off, watch TV and talk on the phone and wind up making a pretty poor grade. For every decision you make there is a consequence: some good and some bad. For sex outside of marriage every consequence is going to be negative. When you have sex outside of marriage, you wonder the next day, is he/she going to call? Was I used? If you think of the consequences of your actions for almost everything you do you will more than likely have life with fewer complications. To study or not study. To have sex or not have sex. In both instances you can probably gather which may be the better option. You may not want to study, but alternatively you know you don't want to fail. You mom and dad will be on your case, you could get grounded and have trouble getting into the college of your choice. So if you sacrifice one night of TV or talking on the phone to study, you will do well on your test. Your parents will be proud, maybe even extend your curfew by an hour for being so responsible. See...good consequences.
In football, you can study the play book and game film and work really hard at practice. You may miss some time with the guys or girls hanging and having a good time, but hard work gets recognized. Coaches see the improvement and the next thing you know you are starting at this weekends game. Or how about Michael Vick. No one would ever doubt his God given talent. But certainly everyone knows how dumb he was. Forget how repulsive dog fighting is, he at some point had to make the decision to enter the world of illegal dog fighting. Knowing it is illegal he immediately knew that one consequence had to be jail time. And if serving jail time, he would be unable to fulfill his duties on the field. His income would be gone, his endorsement deals would be pulled. Had he just thought it through before he acted he could be on the sidelines with the Falcons, instead he is serving time and just filed for bankruptcy.
You may really want to have sex. You may really like the person. You probably are envisioning your future. What does that future look like if you decide to have sex, before marriage? Do you see where they dump you to sleep with someone else. Do you see the baby you are left to take care of on your own? Do you see the lifetime of battling the STD he/she just gave you? On the other hand, you wait to have sex. Best case scenario, you can see your wedding day and a life of healthy, guilt free, stress free sex. Or maybe they dump you because you won't, in which case you know, whew you just dodged a bullet. Pretty lame to compare this to football I know, but what can I say...this sport just makes me crazy!

Sunday, August 24, 2008

No Sex outside of marriage goes for you too!

Yesterday I found out some friends of mine are having marital problems. A split appears imminent; I hope I am wrong. But then I started thinking, the same thought process I apply to teens is also the same for divorced adults. I don't know why adults think the rules do not apply to them because of their age? Just as I tell teens, sex outside of marriage does not make you a grown up or mature, it makes you susceptible to all kinds of regrets and risks. The risks seem somehow greater when you have your own children involved in your mistakes.

Do you realize how many times our children do as we do and not as we say? I know many parents who want the same things I want for my children. Specifically no sex outside of marriage...it is too complicated and extremely risky. Some of my friends know this first hand, and because of their experiences want better for their kids. So to all of my unmarried peers, no sex until you are married again. Just because you are in your 30s, 40s etc it does not make you immune to STDs and emotional consequences. Furthermore, when sex is a factor you are not thinking straight, you are making poor decisions that once again do not just effect you! I get the feeling many will not like what I have written today, but as I say with the teens "trust me on this, my way is MUCH easier than yours!"

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Life is short


Yesterday we had to put our 5 month old puppy to sleep. We were devastated by our loss, but it got me to thinking. Life is too short who wants it full of regret? My husband and I were talking about Lady and if we had known it was her last day we would have...given her a hamburger for breakfast, let her sleep in our bed etc.

The truth is we don't know how long we are going to be on this planet, but do we really want to fill that time with moments of regret? Two days before our wedding, my husband and I hosted a party for all of our friends in the wedding. (we thought it was the only time we would have free to actually enjoy their company and not running around a rehearsal) It was at this dinner I was joking and laughing with a group of girlfriends. I made a joke about wedding night jitters and one of my friends stopped me and said, "Wait you and Chris haven't had sex?" And when I confirmed her suspicions she started to cry and say how beautiful that was and that she wished she had waited. Here was a friend that had been married for over 3 years and was crying with the regret that she had not saved herself for her husband. It dawns on me that people never cry because they regret not sleeping with someone...instead they cringe with regret because they did. I did not get married until I was 28. I don't think my life pre-Chris is missing anything. I think I lived fully and loved deeply without having sex outside of marriage. And best of all Chris, can meet ex-boyfriends and know that none of them have bibical" knowledge of me. If you are trying to decide whether or not sleep with someone right now, think about what I just said, you will never regret NOT sleeping with someone...if you are meant to spend the rest of your life with them, then you will have the rest of your life to...."sleep" ;)

All that being said, I still can't believe our precious puppy, Lady Jane is gone but I have no regrets knowing that her life would come to such a short end I would give her all of my love again and take all of her love she had to offer.



Saturday, August 16, 2008

Is Birth control a get out of jail free card?

My husband told me not to blog on this subject matter, he warned me of the slippery slope. I think I can manage it. I understand the teachings of our church on birth control and I understand it is a decision that should be between a husband, wife and God. But today's blog is about birth control outside the boundaries of marriage. Which then opens the ugly door of the teachings of abstinence versus safe sex. Everyone that knows me, knows that I lean completely towards abstinence. There are NO pitfalls when one chooses abstinence, but when one chooses safe sex there are many; physically and emotionally.
I quickly read a study this week about the dangers of oral contraceptives and how it interferes with a woman's hormones making her choose bad partners for life. At first glance I was completely irate. I mistakenly thought the article was implying that women are constantly dating and sleeping with the wrong guy because of the pill. Thus taking away all ACCOUNTABILITY on the woman's part. As if to say, "don't worry you are not some cheap floozy that will sleep with anyone the pill is making you do that"! I do not think the pill or any birth control should be a reason to have risky sex with multiple partners. Treating sex in this way cheapens it and takes it from being a very intimate thing to be shared among spouses, to a recreational sport that takes all value and intimacy out of it.
After stewing for several days, I went back and reread the article slowly. The article is actually a warning that because oral contraceptives can mess with a woman's hormones, instead of choosing an opposite in a mate is makes you choose someone like you, which apparently according to the study, is not how nature intended it to be. The idea is that if you are on "the pill" when looking for a mate you will choose the wrong one to go through life with. Quite frankly I don't know what to think about this study. But I would guess that if what it says is true then the only "safe" thing to do, is not take the pill and rely on good old abstinence to help lead your heart and your brain.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

How fast should our kids grow up?

Last night, with the urging from an 8th grader, I sat down to watch "The Secret Life of the American Teenager". I had seen promos for the show advertising the teenage pregnancy...high drama! I was so dumbfounded by the show I did not know how to respond. There is a scene where a 15 year old boy is talking to his dead mother about how he is in love with the pregnant teen (by the way he is not the daddy), and he is sure he will spend the rest of his life with her. I know all about thinking you have found true love at 15, but how do we convince this younger generation that there is a whole world of people and opportunity waiting for them. Your life does not have to be decided at 15. So I started tracking the problem.
Five years ago, I could turn on the Disney channel in the morning and let Caroline watch the TV safely while I tended to household business. I would say the programing was "safe" until noon. Today, if I turn on Disney in the morning, "safe" programming is over by 9:30. As much as I love "Mickey Mouse Clubhouse" and "My Friends Tigger and Pooh" many mornings I skip it and put on Noggin, educational programs for the kiddos. I am not condemning Hannah Montana, The Suite Life with Zach and Codi, etc, but they are like middle school soap operas. They use phrases like shut up and stupid. These are not phrases we use in our house, but when said on TV with the canned laughter children learn that not are they only acceptable, but funny.
The most valuable lesson my parents taught me was to wait to grow up. Not to be in such a hurry. I didn't always like hearing or learning that lesson but somehow or another it stuck. I think that is why I get so ANGRY that today's youth are having their childhood stolen from them. They don't even know better to be angry about this. I think they don't know better because of the TV shows they are watching. These shows are asking them to not wait to grow up. You have TV shows talking about marriage at 15 and these kids just know that these two will end up together. And if the fairy tale can work for these fictional characters why not me. I promise you that what fiction they are watching on TV is becoming their REALITY. If what your children are watching on TV is not YOUR reality then don't let it into your homes. Turn off the TV, or switch to safe programming. Make sure your kid's are not robbed of their youth.
I would like to end this saying that after watching, "The Secret Life of the American Teenager", they did do a public announcement about kids talking to their parents about sex and vice versa, It is not enough to shut off the programming and hope it doesn't get into your house some other way, you must talk to your kids and let them know your values and your principles.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Look, Mom I'm pregnant!

These are the words I hear at least once a day from my oldest. And every time I turn to look I see she has stuffed a t-shirt or some other material up her shirt to give herself a protruding belly. I can't help myself; I go to a very dark, scary place. The only time I ever want to hear her utter this phrase is maybe on her second wedding anniversary. Instead when she says this, I picture huge regret on my part....how did I fail her?...did I not adequately warn her of the pitfalls of sex outside of marriage? What will be her life now? I know this is silly that I instinctually go to this scary place but I am very well informed on what is happening out there in society. For her to not be sexually active until she is married she will be an anomaly. Look at me I was WAY in the minority on my wedding day. At the time, I did not realize how in the long term I was going to be pleased with that decision. But I get weekly signs where I am thankful for my lack of regrets.

I should not cringe when Caroline tells me to look she is pregnant. After all God calls us to all different kinds of vocations: some are called to the convent or the priesthood, I was called to Motherhood, and my calling came at a very early age. I know this to be true, because I was probably Caroline's age when I too was stuffing pillow cases under my shirt. I should embrace my child's want to nurture. And she can't help but be aware of the beauty of pregnancy; she has a beautiful aunt carrying her next cousin as we speak. The bigger her stomach grows I know that in some ways Caroline's will too. (The Lord only knows what she will be sticking under her shirt come November). So today, while driving to mass, Caroline found something to stick under her dress and informed me that she was pregnant. Before I allowed myself to go to to the scary dark place I said to Caroline, "you know, you can't think about having a baby until you are married". And she let out a big sigh that really implied "duh", and said, "I know that Mom! I get to be a princess for a day before I have babies". I said, " Princess?" And she said, "yeah mom like the picture of you dressed like a princess when you married daddy?" Aha! The seed has been planted. Now I just need to make sure I water and nurture it!

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Uh oh I think I am a hypocrite

It dawns on me the more I listen to the radio the more I have to shelter my kids from it. I will tell you the truth; if you are in my car Monday through Friday 11am til 6pm I am tuned into talk radio. (either sports or politics depending on the season) However there are days when the 2 little ones in the back seat perform a mutiny and I am forced to find some "music" on the radio. Many times when I do this I tune out what is playing. But the other day, I was sure I heard a girl singing and the lyrics were: "I kissed a girl and I liked it...I hope my boyfriend don't mind it felt so right it felt so wrong etc..." I quickly turned it off and realized that maybe the only thing safe is my ipod. I have downloaded several playlists for the girls that are safe and let's face it I think my music taste, while eclectic is pretty safe. I also noticed while downloading new songs that "I kissed a girl" is #3 on the down load chart.
It got me to thinking about what is available to my girls to just hear on the radio. My friend, Lynn and I were talking about it at the pool this weekend and she pointed out two very popular songs to me right off the bat...the first one is "Low", which I confess I LOVE but it is terrible! And the second one is called, "Lollipop". I have not listened to that one everytime I hear it I change the station, because I am pretty sure it is not about the candy. If sex is thrown into our kids faces 24 7 how do we stand a chance? Well as I said, I thought I was clever and I put my Ipod on shuffle and enjoyed some car time with my girls. That is until my husband pointed out to me that our oldest was singing "Celia" by Simon and Garfunkle. He said, "that is not even just sex outside of marriage, but sex with multiple partners. Yikes I said, "I am such a hypocrite" .
I guess I have decided that there is no easy solution. Maybe it is as simple as getting my kids to understand that I am the expert on the matter and not Fiddy cent. I don't know. But I do know we sat down on itunes last night and I let them add songs to MY Ipod!

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Congrats Jamie Lynn, we are so proud?

This morning I woke up to the news that teen sensation, and new mommy, Jamie Lynn Spears was going to be marrying her baby daddy! I just sighed there is so much to be done! When I get to talk to teens about abstinence I always start by asking, "What is the worse thing that can happen to you if you choose to have sex outside of marriage"? Undoubtedly the first answer I get every time is pregnancy. It floors me that this is still what we are most terrified of happening. Forget the STDs that you may contract that will render you barren or itchy for the REST OF YOUR LIFE. No you are worried about a baby. Why worry about a baby? Can't you see how well Jamie Lynn and her sister Brittany are doing? If there has EVER been a poster child for adoption these two sisters are it.


Please allow me the opportunity to talk about adoption today. If you have made the choice to be sexually active outside the boundaries of marriage and now you are with child please consider adoption. It is truly one of the most selfless acts you will ever do. To give a baby, that you are incapable of adequately caring for yourself, to a two parent home full of love and security would be making the best out of a pretty bad situation. The only alternatives are not very attractive. You could keep it, and hope that someone will still want to go to the prom with you. But don't forget if you do go to prom to be sure to line up a babysitter. And when the baby is waking up every two hours to feed maybe you could find some time to study for your next exam.


I will not say that abortion is an alternative. Whereas adoption is the most selfless act you can commit, abortion is by far the most vile and selfish act you can commit. I know you are probably saying, "but Jennifer, what about a woman's (or teenage girl's) right to choose? I am all for choice. Your choice is to sleep with him or not sleep with him. But once you decide to sleep with him then you are saying you can handle all of the consequences that come with it. Including pregnancy. So you are pregnant and don't want to be inconvenienced by the baby so you do what? You kill it? How is that even rational? Better yet...how is that even still legal? There are many a girl or woman who have chosen the abortion route and many will tell you the "problem" does not go away after someone vacuums out your uterus that my dear is when the problems just begin. You would have a lifetime of guilt and regret to face. It is truly a burden many women take to the grave.


I did not say that adoption would be easy. Taking this option, you would still have the joys of morning sickness, heart burn, stretch marks and a bladder that is used as a trampoline for the life growing inside. And there would be great heartache for when the baby goes to live with a mommy and daddy that will love and nurture him or her for the rest of their lives. But there are thousands and thousands of families looking for a baby to love and maybe you can help complete a family.

I know that probably none of the options I have mentioned sound promising. So why don't we back it up to when YOU are making the Choice to sleep with him or not to sleep with him. Choose Not and then you will not be forced to face these impossible situations. It just dawned on me that most of this was written for the girls, but the boys need to realize they are not off the hook and one day soon I will be addressing you as well! So congrats Jamie Lynn getting married at the ripe old age of 17! I am sure your parents are just too proud!

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

My web site

I'm not even a week into blogging, and I am already addicted. I especially enjoy the comments from friends and complete strangers! Today I worked on my website and I encourage you to go take a look and share it with anyone you think may be interested. www.livingwithnoregrets.com I did it myself, so it has a homemade feel to it, like I am in kindergarten making my parents a card.

It is often said that if you want to be successful in life you should do what you love. I know that this venture can be successful, because of my passion and love for it. If I inspire you in anyway please share my information with others; the more contacts I make the more lives I can reach.

I know I should talk about abstinence today, but truth be told I am thinking about Disney World. We are 66 days out from our vacation and I think I am just as excited as the girls (maybe even more). I love that while in Disney my girls can be girls, and somehow my husband and I are also transformed to a much younger version of ourselves. Everything is magical when you are in Disney.

That is all for today, check out the site and tell me what you think.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Attention Parents are you talking?

Day 2 and I have a million thoughts running through my head. Who do I want to talk to today? Today I want to ask the parents are you talking to your kids about S-E-X? Because let me tell you everyone else is! Last year I had an opportunity to drive an hour north of here to talk to a group of kids 9th thru 12th grade about abstinence. There were about 30 in all, and I felt it went very well. Sure I had the few looking at me as if to say, "Sorry sweetheart, but that bell has already been rung!" And I was looking right back at them letting them know we can always stop ringing the bell. After the talk, three beautiful girls approached me and said that no one had ever told them it was okay NOT to have sex. They thought something was wrong with them. I gave them a big hug and my email in case they ever needed to talk. As I was driving home, I found myself so angry with their parents. As parents we teach our kids to not run with scissors and to stop jumping off the furniture because we don't want them to get hurt. Why in the world would we not talk to them about something that not only can cause physical long term damage, but also is potentially emotionally and psychologically scarring? Listen up parents! The awful truth is that 1 in 4 sexually active girls has an STD and 1 in 5 boys. I don't know about you but the dating pool for my daughters is getting smaller and smaller. I need to clean this pool but I need your help. TALK TO YOUR KIDS!
Here is a concept....family dinner time. I seriously don't remember my parents telling me directly about abstinence but I somehow knew exactly how they felt about sex outside of marriage. I also know we sat down every night and they asked each of us (there were 3 of us) how our day went and what did we learn. One of my most memorable dinners came the night my younger brother (he was in 4th grade) announced at the table he knew all about sex. My mother very calmly encouraged him to pease share with the rest of us. He said, "Well first you find a girl and ask her out for a date. If all goes well you will date for a while and maybe even hold hands." My mother was nodding and smiling as he continued, "then if you fall in love, you ask her to marry you and then after you are married, you can have sex, but if you really love her, you can have sex first and then get married." I did not know my mother could move that fast as she leaped over the dinner table screaming "Oh no you don't!" My older brother and I were laughing hysterically, but we too got the message loud and clear!
It's time to talk about sex, and you cannot feel awkward or squeamish about it. Did you feel awkward telling them to look both ways before crossing the street? As I said, talk to your kids about sex. EVERYONE else is and they are getting a lot of bad info.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Losing My Virginity

Well here I go....my first blog! After this I will no longer be a blog virgin! Which is ironic because the gist of this blog is going to be ALLL about abstinence until marriage. Well maybe not all about abstinence. The title of my blog, Living With No Regrets is what I think about all the time. How can I help the next generation make the right choices so that their life is not filled with regret? I am a lone voice that while shouting is all but a whisper when the rest of society is screaming do what feels good and make sure it happens right now! Just because it is done on MTV or some cool dude is singing about it doesn't mean it is right for you. What is IT? Most of the time IT is sex, but sometimes IT is smoking, drinking, or doing drugs. SO if you decide to become a regular on my blog you may get the rantings of a mad woman who feels she is in the battle by herself, or maybe you will find me gathering and organizing my troops, and still yet you just may find me talking about my sweet family. It is that family that inspires me to wage this war against a society that worries more about what feels good now than the catastrophic consequences that come later. But there will be plenty of time to get into that.

I want to thank my dear friend Christy for pushing me (literally) to do this. Somehow she is allowed to push me when I will not let my wonderful hubby give me that kick in the butt I so often need.

And to any one who decides what I say may have some value I welcome you and extend an offer to you to join my ranks and help me in this battle to help our next generation. To help them live a wonderful, fulfilled life and not swimming in a pool of regret.