Look, Mom I'm pregnant!

These are the words I hear at least once a day from my oldest. And every time I turn to look I see she has stuffed a t-shirt or some other material up her shirt to give herself a protruding belly. I can't help myself; I go to a very dark, scary place. The only time I ever want to hear her utter this phrase is maybe on her second wedding anniversary. Instead when she says this, I picture huge regret on my part....how did I fail her?...did I not adequately warn her of the pitfalls of sex outside of marriage? What will be her life now? I know this is silly that I instinctually go to this scary place but I am very well informed on what is happening out there in society. For her to not be sexually active until she is married she will be an anomaly. Look at me I was WAY in the minority on my wedding day. At the time, I did not realize how in the long term I was going to be pleased with that decision. But I get weekly signs where I am thankful for my lack of regrets.

I should not cringe when Caroline tells me to look she is pregnant. After all God calls us to all different kinds of vocations: some are called to the convent or the priesthood, I was called to Motherhood, and my calling came at a very early age. I know this to be true, because I was probably Caroline's age when I too was stuffing pillow cases under my shirt. I should embrace my child's want to nurture. And she can't help but be aware of the beauty of pregnancy; she has a beautiful aunt carrying her next cousin as we speak. The bigger her stomach grows I know that in some ways Caroline's will too. (The Lord only knows what she will be sticking under her shirt come November). So today, while driving to mass, Caroline found something to stick under her dress and informed me that she was pregnant. Before I allowed myself to go to to the scary dark place I said to Caroline, "you know, you can't think about having a baby until you are married". And she let out a big sigh that really implied "duh", and said, "I know that Mom! I get to be a princess for a day before I have babies". I said, " Princess?" And she said, "yeah mom like the picture of you dressed like a princess when you married daddy?" Aha! The seed has been planted. Now I just need to make sure I water and nurture it!