Shout Out!

Today's blog is a shout out / tribute to my parents. You didn't think I became this remarkable person all by myself did you? When people hear that I have a vision of my girls remaining abstinent until marriage they often applaud my goal, but worry on my strategy. For example, this is a comment made about my lofty ambitions, "My position is that you can't keep a kid in lock down, or you'll lose them, and I've seen it happen many times. It's a tricky area, this parenting in the 21st century. If Jennifer is raising her daughter to abstain from sex until marriage, that's a very personal choice. It's commendable to wish to protect her, and she may feel so obligated in that responsibility that she feels she must indoctrinate a policy in her house, but ultimately the choice will be her daughter's, and I hope her daughter feels she can speak her own mind about it when the time comes."
It is a very common misconception that I will have to "home school" my children for them to remain abstinent until marriage. What kind of lock down, crazy institution does this man think I will raise my kids in? The truth is, I plan to follow the lead set by my parents. I have carefully thought over how they instilled a set of values in me, while all along making me think it was my own idea. These two people are very crafty individuals. I give them all the credit because I am not the only remarkable person to benefit from their love and guidance. Nope, there are two more brilliant, capable siblings running around out there with the same goals and values as mine. I have two wonderful brothers who feel the same about abstinence as I do. So how could this have happened. What kind of indoctrinating went on in our household?
Believe it or not, I don't remember them ever really drilling us on sex outside of marriage. That being said, how is it possible that all 3 of their children came out with the same outlook? This is what they taught me and this is what has stuck, and this is one of the big reasons I think I waited until marriage. Are you ready? I was told to not to rush into growing up and to wait for my time to do whatever it was that I wanted to do. I was told this over and over again for bevy of different subjects. For example I had to wait until High School to wear make-up, I had to wait until I was 12 to have my ears pierced, I had to wait to date until High School.
There was something to be said getting to an age and being rewarded with all that can come with it. It was a feeling of accomplishment or self worth that came with waiting for my time. I didn't get keys to the car and a license the day I turned 16. My dad went with me to get my license and a notebook. He kept the notebook in the glove compartment to log how many miles I drove. The rule in our house was to drive solo you had to drive 500 miles with a parent in the car. And not just any 500 miles, no, they were allocated to so many at night, so many on the interstate and so many in the rain. (thank God we did not have a drought that year). I will never forget my first solo trip after completing my 500 miles I drove all the way out to Sherwood Forest to see my friend Christy. (man we have been friends a long time) There was no timidness in my driving, I was a confident, defensive driver, knock on wood I still have never been in the tiniest fender bender! Think of the esteem my parents had built up in me, and think of the confidence it gave them to know that they could trust me.
I do remember times my mom and I seeing a wedding dress or a wedding and probably sharing the same dream. But my mom would say that it is a privilege to wear that white gown one that needed to be earned. As corny as it sounds I really wanted to earn the right to wear a beautiful sparkling white wedding dress. I waited my turn and boy was I rewarded. I remember the day mom and I drove to New Orleans to try on dresses, it was the second one we tried on, it was made for me. And now when my daughters see my wedding portrait, they talk about the day I got to be a princess. I tell them they too can have a day like that, but they must wait their turn and earn the privilege to wear the white gown.
So when people ask me how I think I will manage two girls saving themselves for marriage, I hear the skepticism in their voices, and their fear of how I will indoctrinate my policy in them, know that all I am teaching them is to wait. Wait to grow up, wait your turn, and earn every blessing you receive in life. Surely that doesn't sound too crazy or too far out.
As for my parents, thank you! I am sure there were times you thought you were beating your head against the wall. Evidently your message got through and not just once look at my 2 amazing brothers! Well done!
Oh and one last thing, today is Veterans Day, and while he never talks about his time in the service my dad proudly served his country. So to my dad and all men who have so valiantly served our country, thank you and God Bless you.