Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Justin Bieber doesn't believe in loveless sex!

I recently read an article in Rolling Stone about Justin Bieber. I have two daughters, my 5 year old has "Bieber Fever" and my 9 year old says, "he looks like a girl and sounds like a girl...she just doesn't get it". In any case, as a parent I usually take notice when there is a new icon on the scene. It seems no matter your opinion on the Bieber, he is hard to ignore, in fact he is EVERYWHERE!



I think it is great that Rolling Stone wanted to write an article about him. I was curious why they felt the need to ask him such heavy questions. Why should people know this teens stance on abortion? In fact he caught some flack for being against it. When asked about abstinence, he replied that he did not believe in loveless sex. Here is where I try to put it into perspective. On the one hand he is quite the teen idol and I am sure there are girls that would do anything to have intimate time with him. So kudos to the guy that doesn't believe in having sex with every groupie throwing themselves at him. On the other hand, we are not all pop stars, so while our pressures may not be as constant or intense, they are still there.



I am curious as to your thoughts on his idea of loveless sex versus loving sex. Especially in the context of teens having sex. You well know I have a thought on this and if you would permit me I would like a second to share my opinion. I don't relish in the idea of reminding you of how wise I have gotten in my older age, but I do have the benefit of perspective that many teens don't have yet. When I think about some of the guys in high school that I just knew I loved and wanted to spend the rest of my life with, I can now laugh at how silly I was. At 16, I had no idea what true love really it is. Oh, I thought I did, I mean I had seen "Sixteen Candles" and "Dirty Dancing" enough times to get the idea.



Now as a wife and mother of 2, I have a different idea of love. Don't get me wrong, my husband has a way of making me feel like Molly Ringwold being kissed over a birthday cake. But our love is deeper than that. I feel challenged to find ways each day to build my husband up, to make him a better person. It is not my job to point out his flaws and nag him endlessly. What can I do each day to make him feel loved and cherished. Knowing that there will be obstacles in his day, I don't want to be one of those. I want to be on the other side of one of the speed bumps that comes his way, offering my hand to help him to the other side.



No offense to teens everywhere, but when I was one, I was definitely more consumed with myself and my needs to have worried about others as I do now. One must ask then, what is sex to a teen? If it is a way to show love, then we know as teens this is a poor choice. We are not mature enough to handle emotionally the true ramifications of "making love". I guess my beef with the article is that while Justin Bieber understands the difference between sex and making love, I don't think he is mature enough to understand what it really means to make love. If you are doing "it" correctly it is not just an action that you brag about. It is the complete giving of yourself into the care of another. Where else can this be done as safely and lovingly than in the arms of your spouse. Not just someone in your chemistry class that you THINK you really love.



Long story short I don't believe in loveless sex either. But I also think you don't have a clue as to what love really is, until life stops being all about you. I know some of my teen followers are not going to like this blog, in fact you may be offended by it. I would love to hear from you, go ahead and convince me that I am wrong...this could be fun!

2 comments:

Unknown said...

It is an interesting thought. But, dont you think that all teens who have sex *think* they are in love. Sounds to me like it can be a justifiable way of not being abstinent. I think back to when I was 15 and my heart skipped a beat and my palms were all sweaty and I just KNEW I was in love. Either that or I had the bluebonic plague. He did not make a real stance in my opinion. It is kinda like one of those interview quesitons that you are answering, but not really saying much. It would have been so much more powerful if he would have said that he did not believe in loveless sex and that if he loves someone he respects them and himself enough to wait. I tell my kids that when you make a decision that you can not go back. There is only one first. You can never reclaim that gift, even if who you were in *love* with decides that they dont love you any more. Not to mention the reputation that you might get.

Rachel said...

I actually really liked what you said about how you treat you husband. I really hit home, and speaks to me with where I am in life, and what is important. The analogy about the speed bump and meeting him on the other side was great! It's true, you don't really know what love is when you're young, and sometimes I wonder if I know what it is now. It's definatly selfless, and we are such selfish people in general...there is alot to learn about Love and giving and just being there for them.