Monday, December 29, 2008

College Girls Beware


So often I concentrate my abstinence efforts on the jr high and high school students. Today I came across a pamplet that has set me straight. I guess there are obvious reasons I have not focused on the co-eds. Firstly, I have never been invited to talk to them. Secondly and sadly I am probably too late. But as I have said in every talk I have ever given, if you have already engaged in the horizontal mambo, it is not too late to sit out the next dance. All you need to do, is get tested and start dating the risk free way!

This pamplet, http://www.cblpi.org/senseandsexuality/index.cfm, is very effective and an easy read. If you know any young cute college girls please share the link. I constantly say, know the facts and then decide if sex is worth the countless risks. But once you have listened to me, you will NEVER have the excuse I didn't know. My objective is to take that excuse out of every non married person living in America. (Don't worry, once I finish here I plan to go international.)

My 6 year old is sitting in the office with me reading a Junie B. Jones book. I look at her and hope that she will not rebel on me one day. I do this for both of my girls. I am trying to change the society in which they are growing. How often have I heard to loosen up times have changed? Times may have changed, but the consequences have only gotten increasingly scary. As of right now, her chances of meeting a nice boy without an STD is about 1 and 5. I am not going to stand by and let this continue happening without putting up a fight! It is not time to be complacent so please share my blog and website with others and in the meantime maybe I can help you or your child.
Sorry that this is not a particularly long or entertaining blog, but I want you to take the time to click the above link and read the pamplet online. I coudn't have said it better myself!

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Monday, December 22, 2008

To my Friends

Back in August, in fact the very day Hurricane Gustav hit, I got a facebook account. This was done with much pressure from my friend, Christy. I just thought it would be ridiculous, but she insisted it would get my blog more attention. (Ah my Achilles heel!) Well she was right. My blog has picked up more readers and I have picked up more speaking engagements. But there was a side to facebook I was unprepared for....my friends.


At first, it was my college friends. Going to college out of state and eventually moving back home, you are not in constant contact with those whom you graduated. Almost immediately I began to hear from people I have not seen since May of 1994. What a treat! Recently I have begun to hear from some of my old high school buddies, some as far away as Washington. (Shout out Kristy and Brian) If it were not for facebook I would not have been taking this stroll along memory lane. One thing is very evident to me, these people from my past were truly a gift from God.


We have discussed often, my decision to remain abstinent until marriage. I have mentioned that my reasons constantly changed as I constantly changed. But one thing I have been adamant about is in the beginning my reasons were NOT to please the higher power, my reason were being afraid of a higher power, i.e. mom and dad. Christ did not play a role in my decision until I was out of college, or so I thought.


As I reminisce about the days of old, I realize what blessing I had in my friends. I had quite an eclectic group at that. In my first days at SJA, I quickly needed to find a place to belong. There was a large contingent from STM that took me in and made me feel like one of them. I was a member of the chorus and made a group of friends there, and I was in every drama production starting my sophomore year, where I made even more dear friends. Some were upperclassman, some were in my class, and some were a year behind me. So what did all of these people have in common? They all accepted me, just as I was. I was never pushed to be anyone other than myself. What a gift!


Today our students feel tremendous pressure to fit in. They are encouraged to engage in dangerous behaviors that they are not ready for: drugs, alcohol and even sex. All of these actions come with serious consequences that can have life long effects. For those of you, being pressured now, if this is something that makes you feel uncomfortable then it is not for you. Be the best you, you can be, and walk away from those that are not your true friends. A true friend will not ask you to do something you don't want to do.


And to those of you, who have been my friend along the way, THANK YOU! Thank you for letting me be me, and not only accepting it, but embracing it. I am so much better for having each of you in my life.


One more thing...I went to a Christmas party last night and a friend of mine said he wants a shout out on my blog, so here you go...to my friend, Todd thanks for being a friend!

Monday, December 8, 2008

Where does their childhood go?

First let me offer my sincere apologies. I have not been blogging regularly, but hang in there I have two really good excuses. First, does it matter that I have been fighting Bronchitis since the last week of October? Secondly, I too am susceptible to writers/blogger's block. If this was a blog about politics I would NEVER run out of something to say. If this was a blog about how your favorite football team has a fall from grace I would NEVER run out of something to say. Therefore I have strict rules about this blog and sticking to my abstinence agenda, I just worry sometimes that I am repeating myself. Never fear inspiration is here!
Over the holiday, I had the opportunity to attend my daughter, Natalie's Thanksgiving feast. Here I watched a room of beautiful 3 and 4 year olds sing songs of Thanksgiving and its many traditions. I thought to myself, " Where does it go? How are they innocent today and much too grown up in just a few short years? How does this happen?" My first thought was trying target the age that this seems to happen. Since I live with a 3 year old and a 6 year old I can safely say that it has not gone yet. But I will reiterate that I watch what they are subjected to. I have mentioned before that the tv stays on Noggin or movies that I approve of. (No, I am not a prude who doesn't watch trashy tv, it is just all the shows that I find a guilty pleasure in like: Desperate Housewives and Grey's ANatomy I record on my DVR and watch after they are in bed)
So innocent at 6--check! SO where is it? I am pretty sure it starts slipping away before 6th grade so what happens between 1st and 6th that rips the childhood right from under their feet?
I have determined there are outside factors involved: TV, movies, music and let's not forget their peers. How do we as parents stop this train? First of all we need to stay involved. What are they watching? Are you aware that Sex in the City( again, not judging) is on at 5pm on Sats? Are you blocking this show with parental controls? Have you picked up their ipod to hear what they are listening too? What about the movie they are going to see? Do you know what it is rated, or the content? And probably most importantly, who are their friends, who are their Friend's parents? Do they share your beliefs and values?
No one said raising these kids was going to be easy. I don't know about you, but I want my kids to have what I had. A childhood of riding bikes around the neighborhood with my best friend. (shout out Laura) A high school career of innocent crushes and making of life long friends. A college career of fun and more great friends, oh and a first love. All of this allowed me to grow at a slow rate and take in life experiences along the way. I was not facing adult consequences from adult decisions in my teens. And now I have a wonderful healthy relationship with my husband as a grown-up. I didn't rush my youth or my innocence and now we get to have a blast growing together.
Our kids don't know to be angry at the ripping away of their childhood. It is up to us to be angry for all of them and to fight like hell for them to keep their innocence and youth. By waging this war and winning it we may not change society. But we sure can protect what is coming in and out of our immediate environment and maybe, just maybe win the war in our own house!