College Girls Beware

So often I concentrate my abstinence efforts on the jr high and high school students. Today I came across a pamplet that has set me straight. I guess there are obvious reasons I have not focused on the co-eds. Firstly, I have never been invited to talk to them. Secondly and sadly I am probably too late. But as I have said in every talk I have ever given, if you have already engaged in the horizontal mambo, it is not too late to sit out the next dance. All you need to do, is get tested and start dating the risk free way!

This pamplet, http://www.cblpi.org/senseandsexuality/index.cfm, is very effective and an easy read. If you know any young cute college girls please share the link. I constantly say, know the facts and then decide if sex is worth the countless risks. But once you have listened to me, you will NEVER have the excuse I didn't know. My objective is to take that excuse out of every non married person living in America. (Don't worry, once I finish here I plan to go international.)

My 6 year old is sitting in the office with me reading a Junie B. Jones book. I look at her and hope that she will not rebel on me one day. I do this for both of my girls. I am trying to change the society in which they are growing. How often have I heard to loosen up times have changed? Times may have changed, but the consequences have only gotten increasingly scary. As of right now, her chances of meeting a nice boy without an STD is about 1 and 5. I am not going to stand by and let this continue happening without putting up a fight! It is not time to be complacent so please share my blog and website with others and in the meantime maybe I can help you or your child.
Sorry that this is not a particularly long or entertaining blog, but I want you to take the time to click the above link and read the pamplet online. I coudn't have said it better myself!

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To my Friends

Back in August, in fact the very day Hurricane Gustav hit, I got a facebook account. This was done with much pressure from my friend, Christy. I just thought it would be ridiculous, but she insisted it would get my blog more attention. (Ah my Achilles heel!) Well she was right. My blog has picked up more readers and I have picked up more speaking engagements. But there was a side to facebook I was unprepared for....my friends.


At first, it was my college friends. Going to college out of state and eventually moving back home, you are not in constant contact with those whom you graduated. Almost immediately I began to hear from people I have not seen since May of 1994. What a treat! Recently I have begun to hear from some of my old high school buddies, some as far away as Washington. (Shout out Kristy and Brian) If it were not for facebook I would not have been taking this stroll along memory lane. One thing is very evident to me, these people from my past were truly a gift from God.


We have discussed often, my decision to remain abstinent until marriage. I have mentioned that my reasons constantly changed as I constantly changed. But one thing I have been adamant about is in the beginning my reasons were NOT to please the higher power, my reason were being afraid of a higher power, i.e. mom and dad. Christ did not play a role in my decision until I was out of college, or so I thought.


As I reminisce about the days of old, I realize what blessing I had in my friends. I had quite an eclectic group at that. In my first days at SJA, I quickly needed to find a place to belong. There was a large contingent from STM that took me in and made me feel like one of them. I was a member of the chorus and made a group of friends there, and I was in every drama production starting my sophomore year, where I made even more dear friends. Some were upperclassman, some were in my class, and some were a year behind me. So what did all of these people have in common? They all accepted me, just as I was. I was never pushed to be anyone other than myself. What a gift!


Today our students feel tremendous pressure to fit in. They are encouraged to engage in dangerous behaviors that they are not ready for: drugs, alcohol and even sex. All of these actions come with serious consequences that can have life long effects. For those of you, being pressured now, if this is something that makes you feel uncomfortable then it is not for you. Be the best you, you can be, and walk away from those that are not your true friends. A true friend will not ask you to do something you don't want to do.


And to those of you, who have been my friend along the way, THANK YOU! Thank you for letting me be me, and not only accepting it, but embracing it. I am so much better for having each of you in my life.


One more thing...I went to a Christmas party last night and a friend of mine said he wants a shout out on my blog, so here you go...to my friend, Todd thanks for being a friend!

Where does their childhood go?

First let me offer my sincere apologies. I have not been blogging regularly, but hang in there I have two really good excuses. First, does it matter that I have been fighting Bronchitis since the last week of October? Secondly, I too am susceptible to writers/blogger's block. If this was a blog about politics I would NEVER run out of something to say. If this was a blog about how your favorite football team has a fall from grace I would NEVER run out of something to say. Therefore I have strict rules about this blog and sticking to my abstinence agenda, I just worry sometimes that I am repeating myself. Never fear inspiration is here!
Over the holiday, I had the opportunity to attend my daughter, Natalie's Thanksgiving feast. Here I watched a room of beautiful 3 and 4 year olds sing songs of Thanksgiving and its many traditions. I thought to myself, " Where does it go? How are they innocent today and much too grown up in just a few short years? How does this happen?" My first thought was trying target the age that this seems to happen. Since I live with a 3 year old and a 6 year old I can safely say that it has not gone yet. But I will reiterate that I watch what they are subjected to. I have mentioned before that the tv stays on Noggin or movies that I approve of. (No, I am not a prude who doesn't watch trashy tv, it is just all the shows that I find a guilty pleasure in like: Desperate Housewives and Grey's ANatomy I record on my DVR and watch after they are in bed)
So innocent at 6--check! SO where is it? I am pretty sure it starts slipping away before 6th grade so what happens between 1st and 6th that rips the childhood right from under their feet?
I have determined there are outside factors involved: TV, movies, music and let's not forget their peers. How do we as parents stop this train? First of all we need to stay involved. What are they watching? Are you aware that Sex in the City( again, not judging) is on at 5pm on Sats? Are you blocking this show with parental controls? Have you picked up their ipod to hear what they are listening too? What about the movie they are going to see? Do you know what it is rated, or the content? And probably most importantly, who are their friends, who are their Friend's parents? Do they share your beliefs and values?
No one said raising these kids was going to be easy. I don't know about you, but I want my kids to have what I had. A childhood of riding bikes around the neighborhood with my best friend. (shout out Laura) A high school career of innocent crushes and making of life long friends. A college career of fun and more great friends, oh and a first love. All of this allowed me to grow at a slow rate and take in life experiences along the way. I was not facing adult consequences from adult decisions in my teens. And now I have a wonderful healthy relationship with my husband as a grown-up. I didn't rush my youth or my innocence and now we get to have a blast growing together.
Our kids don't know to be angry at the ripping away of their childhood. It is up to us to be angry for all of them and to fight like hell for them to keep their innocence and youth. By waging this war and winning it we may not change society. But we sure can protect what is coming in and out of our immediate environment and maybe, just maybe win the war in our own house!

Shout Out!

Today's blog is a shout out / tribute to my parents. You didn't think I became this remarkable person all by myself did you? When people hear that I have a vision of my girls remaining abstinent until marriage they often applaud my goal, but worry on my strategy. For example, this is a comment made about my lofty ambitions, "My position is that you can't keep a kid in lock down, or you'll lose them, and I've seen it happen many times. It's a tricky area, this parenting in the 21st century. If Jennifer is raising her daughter to abstain from sex until marriage, that's a very personal choice. It's commendable to wish to protect her, and she may feel so obligated in that responsibility that she feels she must indoctrinate a policy in her house, but ultimately the choice will be her daughter's, and I hope her daughter feels she can speak her own mind about it when the time comes."
It is a very common misconception that I will have to "home school" my children for them to remain abstinent until marriage. What kind of lock down, crazy institution does this man think I will raise my kids in? The truth is, I plan to follow the lead set by my parents. I have carefully thought over how they instilled a set of values in me, while all along making me think it was my own idea. These two people are very crafty individuals. I give them all the credit because I am not the only remarkable person to benefit from their love and guidance. Nope, there are two more brilliant, capable siblings running around out there with the same goals and values as mine. I have two wonderful brothers who feel the same about abstinence as I do. So how could this have happened. What kind of indoctrinating went on in our household?
Believe it or not, I don't remember them ever really drilling us on sex outside of marriage. That being said, how is it possible that all 3 of their children came out with the same outlook? This is what they taught me and this is what has stuck, and this is one of the big reasons I think I waited until marriage. Are you ready? I was told to not to rush into growing up and to wait for my time to do whatever it was that I wanted to do. I was told this over and over again for bevy of different subjects. For example I had to wait until High School to wear make-up, I had to wait until I was 12 to have my ears pierced, I had to wait to date until High School.
There was something to be said getting to an age and being rewarded with all that can come with it. It was a feeling of accomplishment or self worth that came with waiting for my time. I didn't get keys to the car and a license the day I turned 16. My dad went with me to get my license and a notebook. He kept the notebook in the glove compartment to log how many miles I drove. The rule in our house was to drive solo you had to drive 500 miles with a parent in the car. And not just any 500 miles, no, they were allocated to so many at night, so many on the interstate and so many in the rain. (thank God we did not have a drought that year). I will never forget my first solo trip after completing my 500 miles I drove all the way out to Sherwood Forest to see my friend Christy. (man we have been friends a long time) There was no timidness in my driving, I was a confident, defensive driver, knock on wood I still have never been in the tiniest fender bender! Think of the esteem my parents had built up in me, and think of the confidence it gave them to know that they could trust me.
I do remember times my mom and I seeing a wedding dress or a wedding and probably sharing the same dream. But my mom would say that it is a privilege to wear that white gown one that needed to be earned. As corny as it sounds I really wanted to earn the right to wear a beautiful sparkling white wedding dress. I waited my turn and boy was I rewarded. I remember the day mom and I drove to New Orleans to try on dresses, it was the second one we tried on, it was made for me. And now when my daughters see my wedding portrait, they talk about the day I got to be a princess. I tell them they too can have a day like that, but they must wait their turn and earn the privilege to wear the white gown.
So when people ask me how I think I will manage two girls saving themselves for marriage, I hear the skepticism in their voices, and their fear of how I will indoctrinate my policy in them, know that all I am teaching them is to wait. Wait to grow up, wait your turn, and earn every blessing you receive in life. Surely that doesn't sound too crazy or too far out.
As for my parents, thank you! I am sure there were times you thought you were beating your head against the wall. Evidently your message got through and not just once look at my 2 amazing brothers! Well done!
Oh and one last thing, today is Veterans Day, and while he never talks about his time in the service my dad proudly served his country. So to my dad and all men who have so valiantly served our country, thank you and God Bless you.

Back to condoms

First to my regular readers let me apologize for my absence. For the last two weeks I have been battling bronchitis. My wonderful husband helped pick up my slack around the house, but as for blogging about abstinence he drew the line. So thanks to my perfect husband and thanks to you for your patience.
While there are a bevy of topics I would like to address, I got sidetracked just now while reading a news report online. It appears all of the work President Bush did supporting my abstinence cause will be abandoned by the new administration. It seems President elect Obama thinks the nation needs to focus on a more scientific approach to the spreading of STDs by using condoms than the ideological approach of the Bush administration on abstinence.
I am a little confounded that one approach is MORE scientific than the other. As far as I know, that when abstinence is used it is 100% effective, however condoms are only 97% effective. Math not being my strong suit even I know that 100 is better than 97; I'm just saying. So where does the science come in? Apparently in human error. You see President elect Obama does not feel that we are responsible enough to say NO to sex. So he thinks we should take away that sticky subject of personal accountability and just make it easier for everyone. If you have the urge to have sex, go ahead and don't worry about the consequences, just be sure to have a condom!
I found this information on the Center for Disease Control Website and thought it would help prove my point.

The surest way to avoid transmission of sexually transmitted diseases is to
abstain from sexual intercourse, or to be in a long-term mutually monogamous
relationship with a partner who has been tested and you know is uninfected.
For persons whose sexual behaviors place them at risk for STDs, correct and
consistent use of the male latex condom can reduce the risk of STD transmission.
However, no protective method is 100 percent effective, and condom use cannot
guarantee absolute protection against any STD. Furthermore, condoms lubricated
with spermicides are no more effective than other lubricated condoms in
protecting against the transmission of HIV and other STDs. In order to achieve the
protective effect of condoms, they must be used correctly and consistently.

Yes, it appears that condoms do greatly reduce the risk of HIV, but haven't we already discussed that there are more consequences to sex outside of marriage than just the physical? The emotional damage created by someone choosing to have sex when they are not mentally mature enough can be life altering. You don't have to believe me when I say this, but I have seen this damage with my own eyes. It was one of the reasons I waited until I was married. I never wanted to give anyone control over my life that would change its direction forever...for the worse.
I will agree with President elect Obama, abstinence is hard and fails when we are not held responsible for our actions. But handing condoms out in Africa without educating the people on the truths about sex ,the disease and deaths will continue to climb. They will only use condoms if they are available and if they do not have condoms they will continue to have unsafe sex. Do you know that it is believed in parts of Africa that if you have sex with a virgin then you will be cured of Aids? Do you know how many infants have been raped for the cure? Obama's solution is more condoms. The Bush administration has spent more money than any other administration in Africa on educating and treating the people infected with HIV and AIDS. Explaining to these individuals that "no, sex with a virgin will not cure you".
As for here in the United States, I guess we will have to wait for the lessons on accountability. The lesson we hear now is, "if it feels good do it, and worry about the consequences later". And lucky for you President Obama with the FOCA will help make abortions more readily available to you. After all he said himself, "He doesn't want his girls to have to be punished if they make a mistake". I wonder who will pay the bills for the emotional distress derived from the abortion? Forgive me if I am not inspired. I will continue to teach my daughters about personal accountability and consequences for their actions, and I am pretty sure I will have two remarkable, self-reliant, beautiful girls who will help to save the next generation.

bad ideas

You know sometimes you hear something and you think that is such a bad idea, there is no way anyone will buy into it, like wealth redistribution. But the next thing you know, not only does someone agree with this absurd idea but they begin to embrace it. Now don't get worried I am not blogging about the impending socialist revolution I am actually talking about sex bracelets.

Truly what a stupid idea; and yet not only has it been embraced but people are actually wearing them. If you are new to this phenomenon let me catch you up. You will be quick to recognize these jelly bracelets they were a fad in the 80's, first sported by Madonna and Cyndi Lauper. Today a person wears the bracelet and depending on the color another person snaps off the color of their choosing. The color bracelet correlates to a sexual favor which the snappee must now grant the snapper. The color chart as best as I know is the following : Yellow means hug, pink means give a hickey, orange means kiss, purple means you are willing to kiss either sex, red means perform a lap dance, green means oral sex performed on a girl, clear means anything goes, blue is oral sex performed on a guy, and black means missionary sex. There are glittery bracelets which hold more sexual favors, but I think you get the point.

I am stupefied why anyone would choose to take part in this really bad idea. What do you think others think of the bearer of the bracelet. Do you think kids today even care? Are parents buying these for their kids? Are kids using their allowance money to buy them? The whole idea of this "game" makes my head spin. I was talking to a "friend" who is in Jr high. She was telling me about people who are wearing these that she knows personally. I casually started asking questions. Are they advertising their services or using the bracelets to brag about their conquests. I got a lot of shrugging in return.

By allowing ANYONE to walk up and snap a colored bracelet off your wrist, you are giving control of YOUR body to someone else's whims. Understandably if you are wearing the bracelet maybe you are up for anything. But does that include the random stranger at the gas station you are advertising your sexual freedom to? These bracelets speak volumes about your character and if you wear this bracelet you are saying that you should be treated as an object and not a person. You are there, available to fulfill someones passing need. But what are you getting in return? This game is certainly not going to fill a void in your life, if anything it will create a bigger hole that you have no idea how to fill. This unhealthy game will lead to big problems, and I am not just talking about STDs.

Sex is a very intimate act meant to bond a husband and wife. Outside the parameters of marriage in particular, inside the boundaries of this insidious game you devalue the meaning of sex and equally so the value of your character. Sex is not a game and neither is your life, so stop treating it like one.

Time to get on my soap box

Friends I am careful to use this blog for the intended purpose of spreading the news of abstinence until marriage. So far I have been careful not to use it to spread my political views (and I have a LOT to say), nor have I used it in talking about my religious beliefs. So tonight I am going to get on my soap box, because there is an issue that I can no longer ignore. It would be negligent of me to not discuss the FOCA.

The Freedom of Choice Act while harmless in title will have devastating consequences if passed. I will touch on some of the "highlights" of this disgusting bill and then follow up with some of my personal thoughts. FOCA states:

-abortion is a fundamental right and no agency or person should be able to interfere with a

woman's right to choose to have an abortion.

-taxpayer money would be used to perform abortions (so the gov't has no say so if you can

have an abortion but then are also expected to pay for it?)

-allow partial birth and late term abortions

-allow abortions by non-physicians and non-regulated clinics (allowing abortions that may put

a woman's health at risk)

-minors will not be required to notify their parents



For over 35 years we have been taking baby steps to overcome the decision of Roe v Wade. And while we have made great strides we still have far to go. Since Roe v Wade there have been
48,589,993 abortions. We have lost beautiful people in the military. Since the Iraq War began in March of 03 we have lost 4,186 soldiers. Who died with honor and a belief in their cause, of liberating a nation and spreading democracy throughout the world. Over these men and women of valor there has been total outrage. May I ask where is the outrage over the 48 million innocent lives that were MURDERED so that a woman would not be INCONVENIENCED by her CHOICE to have sex? 48 Million can you even begin to comprehend how totally wrecked God must be, when He sanctions all life? FOCA will not lower the number of abortions in America it will increase the number and without regulations a woman's health is at a greater risk.



Let me tell you ladies, I am all about your freedom of choice. You may choose to have sex or you may choose to not have sex. If you choose to have sex then you better be ready to put on your big girl pants and deal with the adult consequences. There are options available to you, adoption and keeping this precious gift from God. Murder is not an option. So stop calling your self pro-choice and go ahead and call it pro-murder.



This week I have received an amazing blessing. I have my first godchild. A beautiful (and I am not biased) little girl. Her mommy and daddy had to wait a long time for her. And lucky for them, my goddaughter's birth mom decided to do the selfless act and give her baby to a loving family. My friends are in good company waiting for others to follow suit and choose life, choose love over selfishness.



So now what? Get busy. Call your congressman, call everybody in Washington DC and let them know that we are not okay with FOCA. We need to do God's work down here. We cannot sit and watch this bill pass and do nothing. You must inform others of this evil legislation before it is too late. And while I try not to express my political views on this blog I must point out that one candidate supports this disgusting legislation and one does not. Okay I will put my soap box
away....for now.